Peer Response 4

You should definitely know the peer response drill by now: the key is that you be tactfully critical so that you will help your classmate improve his or her paper. Your comments are not restricted to the following matters, but do address each item below:

• Effectiveness of the introduction—point out weaknesses and make specific suggestions for improving the paragraph in any respects needed. If the introduction is less than half a page in length, suggest concrete ways of developing the paragraph more effectively. Avoid saying just that the paragraph needs more—make suggestions precise.

• Make specific and precise suggestions for improvement of the thesis statement. Most importantly consider whether the thesis sets up a viable topic, one that enlightens the reader and goes beyond pointing out obvious matters that any reader would understand just from reading the novel on his or her own. Other weaknesses in the thesis? Explain.

• Consider the overall focus of the essay—look for places where the paper might be straying from the stated central topic (or thesis). Pay especial attention to each body paragraph's opening sentence: does each paragraph open with a strong topic sentence reiterating the key words from the thesis? Suggest specific improvements in topic sentences.

• Point out ¶'s that appear to lose or shift focus by getting away from the initial point stated in the topic sentence (think of repeating "key words" throughout the ¶): should any ¶'s be split up into smaller units? Also consider whether any two ¶'s seem to be addressing the same fundamental point and might be better combined.
  
  

• Identify the weakest point (body ¶) in the body of the paper and make concrete, specific suggestions for improvement.
  
  

• Identify the second weakest point (body ¶) in the body of the paper and here, too, make concrete, specific suggestions for improvement.
  
  

• Make specific suggestions for improving underdeveloped paragraphs: don't just say "expand" or "elaborate" make precise suggestions. 

• Effectiveness of the conclusion—make very specific suggestions for improvement. If the conclusion is less than roughly half a page in length, suggest specific, concrete ways of expanding the paragraph.

• Effectiveness of quotations, from the novel and from secondary sources. Do they offer significant support for the author's claims, or do any seem simply "thrown in" to meet the assignment requirements? Suggest specific passages that the author might quote to illustrate the paper's primary assertions more effectively. 

• Point out quotations that need more comment or explanation. Does the author rely too heavily on any quotations from secondary sources to make the essay's primary points instead of using the quotes to back up or support the author's own original points? Any quotations requiring more thorough explanation before or after they are given?

• Grammar, mechanics, and and word choice—special attention to GR, Nugget, QD, SS, and WP items. 
  
  
• Point out successions of short, choppy sentences (approximately one typed line in length or less); suggest ways of combining short sentences to improve the flow of the essay.